


I'm making this up as I go (Treebros one-shots)

by Random_Fandom_writer



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, Coming Out, Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen) Is a Good Boyfriend, Connor Murphy Has a Crush on Evan Hansen, Connor is a book nerd, Established Relationship, Evan Hansen Has Anxiety, Evan Hansen Has a Crush on Connor Murphy, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay, I Don't Know Where This Is Going, It's Glorious, Jared Kleinman Being an Asshole, Marriage Proposal, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Relationship, There is also a rainbow cake, Treebros, shh its canon, umm, you give me requests ill write them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Fandom_writer/pseuds/Random_Fandom_writer
Summary: Pretty straight forward.You give me prompts/requests and I will write them!Have fun.





	1. The beginning:

Why am I doing this again?

Ok so I will be creating a collection of treebros one-shots and I need YOU to send me prompts. Feel free to request anything! Well, almost anything. Here are things I will NOT be writing.

Stuff I will not write about:

Smut

...

That's pretty much it my dudes, my standards are pretty low.

 

Although I will say that anything I feel incapable of writing about I will not do it. So I do have the right to refuse any requests.  

Also, feel free to make your request as detailed as you want. You want something super specific? Sure! Heck yeah, I'll do it. And length doesn't scare me, but since these are one-shots they will probs be around 1,000 words. Maybe more.

So buckle up y'all, we are in for a heck of a ride.


	2. Request #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Person A *a librarian*: For someone only using this place to hide you are impressively punctual.
> 
> Person B: I don't only come to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this entire thing before this stupid website decided to delete a l l of it.
> 
> Just a bit of a backstory, Connor and Evan both go to the same community college. For Connor it was all he could get into due to his grades, but all Evan could afford. Evan shares a dorm room with Jared on campus while Connor still lives at home because his parents don't trust him enough to live on his own. 
> 
> Wow, I've put a lot of thought into a one-shot. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Strong language, mild mentions of poor mental health

Working as a library assistant was _not_ what Connor had expected to get out of his Summer. He didn't even expect to be considered for the job when he put in his resume. His signature edge lord look was not often associated with books. But it got him out of the house, and the more time he spend away from his parents, was for the better. It's not like he couldn't use the money. 

However...

Scoping out the cute blond boy that had been coming in every day since was just a bonus.

The boy- he'd yet to learn his name, although he looked frighteningly familiar- came in every day of the week, excusing the weekends (That's when they were closed) at six o'clock on the dot. The first few times, he thought he was there to study for Summer classes or something of the sorts, but he always came empty handed. Sometimes he'd play on his phone, or pluck a book off the shelf, but never checked anything out at the register. By closing time, Connor always found himself saddened to see him leave.

But whatever. It's not like they'd talked. Yet. He wanted to change that, and he would soon. At least that's what he told himself.

As September approached, he was running out of openings, and the closest he'd gotten was about two seconds of eye contact before the kid blushed furiously and ducked behind some shelves.

Not the worst he'd ever gotten, he'd take it.

At least he didn't burst into tears, or something equally as awful.  ~~Not like that hadn't happened before.~~

But today he was going to do it.

When he walked in at six o'clock (like always) Connor was quick to greet him. "You come here _a lot_ don't you?" _'way to sound confronting, what is this an interrogation?'_

The blond froze, whipping his head up and staring back at Connor like a deer in the headlights. "Are- are you talk- talking to _me?"_

He turned his head, scanning the (quite pitifully) empty library, before raising his eyebrows and shrugging. "Oh, no. I'm just talking to the shelves."

"Oh." He nodded slowly, his fear melting into a look of confusion. "Okay then." He turned back, staring to walk away.

"Hey dumbass, I'm joking." He mentally slapped himself. _'Can you behave for one fucking second?'_

He tensed again- even more than before if that was possible-, his face bursting red. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I don't really pick up on sarcasm- shit I'm really not good at this, sorry." He cut himself off, looking as if he had more to say, but stopping before he could continue ranting.

"You- why are you apologizing?"

"Well- just because you said- you were talking to me, and then- but I didn't _know_ if you were talking to _me_ which is- that's just so annoying when people do that sorry."

"Ok, that's just getting annoying now."

"Sorr- hmm."

A hint of a smile played on his lips. "What's your name?"

"Evan. Hansen. Evan Hansen. Yes, that's me..." He trailed off, smiling just a bit too tightly for it to be considered normal. "And you're Connor Murphy." A pause. "Sorry, that probably sounded creepy um, we- we went to the same high school?" He said it like a question, _'was that a question?'_

He tensed. High school was... Not great for him, and if this kid knew him from back then, he should be running for the fucking alps.

He may have been silent for just a bit too long because Evan was shifting nervously and staring at the floor. "You- probably don't remember me, I- I wasn't that popular or anything. S-sorry this was a bad idea I'm just going to-"

"Wait, no." His voice raised in volume, making both of them flinch. "I- I do remember you." He didn't.

Evan seemed to perk up a bit. "You- you do?"

"Yeah we had that... Class together." He smiled tightly, silently praying he was correct.

He let out a small breath of relief as Evan nodded back. "Yeah, um, AP English."

They both fell silent after that. Connor noticed he was staring and quickly directed his attention to his hands, while Evan just blushed and looked at the floor again.

"So, you come here a lot." Connor quickly changed the subject. "Why?" Sensing Evans anxiety, he iterated his sentence. "Not that it's a bad thing. I just see you here a lot."

"Oh, um, yeah. My roommate always has his friends over at our dorm and it gets kinda loud so I just- come here to hide until they leave." He laughed nervously, as if he was afraid the other would judge him.

"Well for someone who only comes to this place to hide you are impressively punctual." He leaned against the counter, smirking.

"Well, I don't- I don't _only_ come here to hide." He shifted nervously, blushing lightly.

"Then why else do you come here?"

"Well- there is this one person... Sometimes I come just- just so I get to see them."

Connor felt a pang of jealously. "Ah. Who is this _mystery person_. I might know them."

He chewed on his lip, taking a step forward. "Oh, yeah, you just might." He paused, as if coming back to his senses and took a few steps back, averting his gaze again.

"You don't have to tell me-"

"No, wait."

He furrowed his brow, nodding to urge him on.

"ItsyouIcometoseeyou." He clenched his fists, face flaming red again.

"Can- can you say that like, ten times slower?"

_'What the fuck, what the fuck, did he just say what I think he said what the fuuuckk.'_

"I- um, well you see- I came here... To see..." He stopped, pointing at the others chest. "You."

Connor was still internally screaming. Was he hearing this right?

"I'm sorry can you say that again but even _slower?"_

 _"Please,_ don't make me say it again." His hands were shaking just enough for the other to notice.

"Shit, um, I didn't mean it like that just- I don't get why you would come here to see _me."_

Evan seemed to relax a bit at that, staring at him lightly. "W-ell, you are- well you're kind of, um, hmm, you're kindofreallypretty, ok?"

It was Connors turn to blush.

"Oh." Connor winced as his voice cracked. "Well, um, I think that you are kind of really pretty too."

Evan looked a him through his eyelashes, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Um, thanks."

"So... What now?"

"Well, this- may- might be a bit forward I don't do this much. Obviously, ha ha."

_'Did this nerd just say ha ha out loud?'_

Before he had time to dwell on it, Evan was placing a sticky note on the counter. "Um, call me. Or maybe text me instead. Phone calls are awkward and hard so. Text me. Maybe. Only if you like, want to, I'm not forcing you to text me-"

"I'll text you."

For the first time that night both of their smiles were real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end of that. First chapter done. I'm sorry you have to read this, this is my first time writing something fluffy and it is a bit rough.
> 
> Blease. Blease, I am begging you. Send me requests, give me content to work with.


	3. Request #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan has trouble remembering to eat properly and even when he remembers, he mostly chooses to skip meals. Connor finds out and decides to help Evan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y'all, it's been a hectic few weeks. I'll try and update more often.
> 
> Trigger warnings: Unhealthy eating habits/disordered eating, strong language, anxiety

Wednesday:

 

It wasn't that Evan didn't _want_ to eat. Sometimes he just- forgot. And the process of actually making himself eat just- wasn't all that appealing.

Plus, he'd have to order out. He can do it online now, but then he has to answer the door, and wait while the delivery person counts out the change and they'll probably judge him for eating alone and  _'-what if they are from my school and they remember me and they go " hey look it's that kid that can't even order a pizza right" and-'_

So delivery wasn't an option.

He could always check the freezer. They probably had some frozen dinners or something. Yeah, he could do that...

Or not.

His mothers voice rang in his ears _'Evan, you can't just not eat.'_ The thing was _mom,_ he could. Not like anyone was here to force him. _Ouch._

 

It'd been like this for longer than he'd like to admit.

Wake up, rush out the door before Heidi berated him about the _importance of breakfast,_ maybe steal a couple chips from Jared at lunch, and then fail at psyching himself up enough to actually order dinner.

A light ping sounded from his phone, jolting him from his thoughts.

Connor: meet me at a la mode

You: Why?

Connor: do i need a reason to hang out will my boyfriend?

You: I didn't say that.

Connor: then what exactly is the problem?

You: Con, it's almost ten

Evan sighed to himself. That was probably the saddest thing he'd ever said, ~~and he was pretty sad.~~ _'What kind of teenager has a bed time of ten o'clock?'_

Connor: shhh dont question it.

Connor: im picking you up in 5

You: I don't have a choice in this do I?

Connor: nope

He rolled his eyes at that, smiling gently.

You: Ugh, fine.

Connor: <3 

 _'What a fucking dork.'_ Giggling, Evan punched in a heart, sending one back to Connor.

 

Not long after, a beat up pick up truck rolled into Evans (empty) driveway. (Yes, a pick up truck. Larry refused to buy him another after Connor deliberately destroyed the first two, so he had to buy one himself.) Evan pretends like he doesn't feel impending doom every time he steps into the rickety old thing. _'The check engine light has been on since he bought the damn thing, tell me that doesn't scream disaster.'_

Evan slid into the passenger side seat, groping for a worn down seatbelt.

"What, not even a hello?"

Evan blushed, greeting him with a kiss to the cheek "Sorry, hello."

"So I was thinking A La Mode, then orchard," Connor started as he backed out of the driveway. 

"Yeah sounds good." He smiled lightly at the other, not averting his gaze.

Connor, glanced from the road to the blond, raising his eyebrow. "Can't take your eyes off me, huh?"

The other boy blushed furiously, eyes darting to study the windshield. "Sorry, just... Thanks for- I needed to get out of the house. So, thank you for bringing me along."

"Yeah, it's whatever. You don't need to thank me." Despite his dismissive tone, a hint of a smile played on his lips.

 

They pulled up at A La Mode, a relatively small ice cream parlor painted in pastel hues. The condition of the place was subpar at best now, and Evan wondered if it'd even passed the health inspection, but Connor always got this goofy little smile on his face whenever they pulled up, and he'd be a monster to deprive him of this place.

As they entered, they were greeted with an acne ridden teen with a slight scowl on his face, probably wishing he could have chosen a job that wasn't open all hours of the night.

"You want the usual?" Connor glanced at the shorter boy as he stepped closer to the register.

He froze. When was the last time he'd actually eaten _real_ food? _'An apple for breakfast on Monday- what day was it again?'_ Wednesday. It was Wednesday today.  _'Isn't that a thing? Don't eat junk food on an empty stomach?'_ Probably not, but he didn't want to take the chance of throwing up  or something equally as terrible in front of Connor because- _'what if I throw up and he thinks I'm sick and then mom will find out and make me stay home, I can't miss school or-'_

"Ev?"

_'Fuck, right.'_

"Oh, I'm- not gonna get anything, I'm not very hungry or anything, go ahead and order.

"You sure?" Evan nodded, offering a hopefully reassuring smile. ~~~~~~It came out looking constipated.~~

Connor eyed him, but went forward to order anyways.

 

Saturday:

 

Something Is up.

Evan would hate to admit it to him, but something is up, and Connor would go to the ends of the Earth to find out what.

The brunet was currently skimming through his science textbook. If it was his choice, he'd never touch the fucking thing, but he'd promised Evan that he would study for their next test.

He couldn't concentrate if he tried.

Because now that he thought about it, _when was the last time he saw him eat?_

He slammed the textbook shut abruptly, picking up his phone and shooting a text.

Connor: evan

Connor: evan

Connor: evvvaaaannnn

Connor: pick up

Connor: baby

Connor: sweetie

Connor: honey

Connor: light of my life

Connor: fine dont text back

Connor: bitch

Evan: Holy fuck Connor, what?

Why was he texting him again?

Connor: hey

Connor: im bored

Evan: I'm breaking up with you.

Connor: wait no-

Connor: lets go somewhere

Evan: Have you finished studying?

Connor: yes no maybe so

Evan: C o n n o r

Connor: shut up nerd

Evan: Well some of us actually care about passing high school

_'I rest my case, nerd.'_

Evan: Well _I_ need to study so...

Connor: not on my watch

Evan: You better not be planning on kidnapping me.

Connor: ...no

Evan: Sounds like something a kidnapper would say.

Connor: see you soon

Evan: WAIT NO!!

Connor laughed, grabbing his keys and rushing out to his pick-up.

 

_'God dammit Connor."_

Evan threw on a hoodie as Connor drove up, trudging to meet him at the door.

Opening the door, he was greeted with the smiling face of his boyfriend, who grabbed his waist and pulled him in for a kiss.

"mpmh- Con-" He whined against his lips, pulling back. "No, I'm trying to be mad at you." Connor let out a cry of objection as Evan continued. "Con, you promised you would study."

"And I will. Later. But now, _we_ are going out." He grabbing his wrist, pulling him out the door.

"Where are we going?" Evan asked once situated.

"Um." Connor eyed the other warily, who was innocently gazing out the window. "There's a new Thai place down the road, I was thinking we could try it out."

_Slight hesitation._

"Ok."

_Short, quick, dismissive._

Connor filed his response away for later, face remaining carefully neutral.

 

Monday:

 

"Want some"

"Nah."

 

Tuesday:

 

Evan walked to school. The weather had cleared up, and a pleasant warmth lay in the air. A growl came from his stomach and he closed his eyes sighing.

_'Shit, breakfast.'_

It's fine. He could wait.

 

"Evan, I'm working a shift tonight, you good to order out?" Heidi called to Evan from downstairs.

"Yeah, sure," He yelled back distractedly, mindlessly scribbling on his chemistry homework.

It was only until he heard the door slam that he realized he didn't actually hear what she said.

 

Wednesday:

 

"So you just decided to not eat."

_'Fucking- that's what she told me last night.'_

 

"Evan, hey I brought you breakfast." Connor approached the other, handing him a bagel wrapped in paper towel.

"Really? Why? Not that I don't appreciate it but- you didn't have to." Evan smiled lightly in confusion.

"Oh, my mom bought like, wayyy to many bagels than a regular person actually needs. I'm trying to hand them off." Connor shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck and averting eye contact.

He furrowed his brow in confusion and slight suspicion, hesitantly taking the bagel. "Well thanks."

Connor watched as he took a bite. "Yeah, um- no problem. I can bring you another tomorrow if- if you want."

"You don't have to..."

"Too late. I'm gonna." 

Evan supresses a grin, taking another bite. "Th-thanks I guess."

"No problem."

 

Thursday:

 

"Why don't you have a lunch?"

"Oh, I don't bring lunch. Never have time to make one in the morning, and the cafeteria is nasty."

"You should eat."

"Con, it's never been a problem with you before, I'm fine. Trust me, I'll survive."

"Yeah, well that changes now. Here." He handed Evan half of his sandwich and shoved over a container of celery sticks. "Moms on this weird vegan diet now and she's forcing us to do it with her. I've consumed so much fuckin celery."

 

Friday:

 

Friday is what Evan has dubbed their hang out day, in which they both skip the last block (It was their free block anyways) and drive to the orchard.

Evan swings he and Connors joined hands back and forth exaggeratedly. He yanks too hard on his arm, and the other goes stumbling forward, barely managing to catch himself before he hits the ground. The next few minutes are filled with profuse apologies as Connor desperately tries to hide the embarrassed blush spreading across his face after almost slamming his face head first into the dirt. "Fuck, I'm so sorry are you ok? You're not hurt are you? I'm sososososo sorry, that was not supposed to happen-"

"Ev, it's fine, I'm not hurt."

He breathes a sigh of relief, meekly joining their hands back together.

They settle under one of the many trees, sitting in content silence.

"Um, Connor."

"Yeah?"

"Are- hm. Do you- uh- you've been-"

"Take your time."

Evan bunts his shoulder. "Sh-shut up I'm trying to be serious." Evan breaths slowly as he gains his composure. "You've been acting kind weird lately."

He chuckles nervously. "No, no I'm not."

"Yes. Yes you fucking are." He connects eyes with Connor who steers his head away. "What's going on?"

"It's not me, it's you. I mean- fuck, I'm not good with words." He falls silent, distress sneaking into his eyes. "It's just- You're- um, you're-"

"Take your time."

"Oh fuck off." He pauses, demeanor changing. "You really don't eat much do you?" He asks seriously.

Evan shifts nervously, picking at the hem of his shirt. "You- yeah, I assumed you noticed that." Connor hummed softly, looking up at the sky.

"You ok with that?"

"What?"

"Do you... You know." He averts his gaze, folding and unfolding his arms.

Evan looks at him softly, voice carefully calm. "Con, I don't have an eating disorder. If- that's what you're asking right?" He sighs as Connor nods slightly, moving closer and giving him an awkward side hug. It's probably not as comforting as he wants it to be. "At least I don't think I do. I mean, I don't eat a lot, but not necessarily because I don't want to." A pause before he hesitantly adds, "Ok- _sometimes_ because I don't want to-"

"Wow, this is really reassuring me Evan." His voice is flat, but slightly shaky.

"Just... Sorry." He unwraps himself from Connors side, scooting a few feet away. "Most of the time I... Forget."

"You- how do you forget to eat?"

"I don't _know_ Connor, I just do."

"...What about the times you do remember?"

"I don't know, I don't really like eating-" Connor snorts and Evan fixes him with a glare. "Usually when I eat, I have to get take out and _you know_ how that usually turns out. And I can't cook anything without thinking I'll burn the house down or something stupid like that so... I just got used to not eating that often." He trailed off, wringing his hands.

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah, um. I can't say I get it, but ok." Connor give a small close lipped smile, shrugging his shoulder.

They sat in silence, a weight lifted off of both their shoulders.

"I hope you realize I'm still feeding you breakfast every morning."

_"Connor."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised that this didn't turn out more angsty. Wow, who am I?
> 
> I have a headcannon that Evan texts with perfect grammar and punctuation, while Connor couldn't be bothered with either. Evan probably tried correcting him for a while before giving up after Connor started typing even worse out of spite. 
> 
> Blease. Blease, I am begging you. Send me requests, give me content to work with.


	4. Request #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could you do an angsty start but happy ending to this prompt "it's okay, I understand. You can leave, they all do." ???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's taken me this long to get out these chapters, I can't commit to anything which is mainly why I do one shots rather than multi-chapter series. I will try and get these out quicker, although I won't have a specific schedule. 
> 
> Trigger warnings: Depressive episode, anxiety, references to past drug use, strong language
> 
> Its end of May Early June y'all.

Things had been getting better, which is why Connor is so frustrated. Because there is absolutely no reason for him to feel this _gross_ right now. But here he is, laying unmoving in the bed he hasn't left since a few days prior.

Maybe there is a reason, but he doesn't want to think about that right now. Connor thinks no reason is better than the one their is, because that just means he's sulking, and _'Dammit Connor fucking get over yourself.'_

And maybe he could have gotten away with this through the weekend, but Sunday is over now.

Zoe's yelling at him from down stairs to _"Get the fuck up for school or I'm leaving without you."_

Maybe before he would have followed her to school only to hotbox the car during first period. Anything to make _this_ stop. It sounds appealing for a brief moment, only to be squashed down by the thought that he's been sober for months now and he's not about to throw that away. It's not worth it, especially when he remembers how disappointed Evan would be.

_Evan._

He thinks of texting him, but deciding against it because  _'you'd just burden him, you know how much he hates missing school.'_

The door slams shut, and the last car pulls out of the driveway.

He's alone again.

Suddenly that makes it so much worse. Because silence and isolation really are the perfect conditions for the creeping thoughts that linger on the outskirts of Connors mind.

 

* * *

 

Evan: Hey, you skipping today?

Evan: You weren't at lunch. I hope everything's ok.

Evan: If you don't answer in ten minutes I'm coming over.

Evan: I'm on my way.

 

* * *

 

 

Four text messages, followed by three quick and curt knocks. Connor could hear echo off the hardwood floors from his bedroom.

He braced himself as he heard footsteps approach his door. "Hey Connor."

"...The door was locked."

"I know, I- I have the key. Cyn-Cynthia gave it to me."

Connor didn't reply. Not that Evan was really expecting him to.

Evan sighed softly, moving next to kneel beside his bed. "Bad day?" He doesn't need the confirmation. "What do you need me to do?" His voice is soft, and his chest feels a little less tight and suffocating because Evan's here, and that's enough for now.

The blond stands up abruptly and Connor whips his hand out to catch his arm, looking up with pleading eyes. He doesn't need to say anything for him to understand. "I'm not leaving." Instead, he shuffles off his hoodie and climbs into bed beside him, enveloping him in his arms.

It takes more energy than he'd like to admit to force the words out of his throat. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"You're more important." Connor squirms at that, wriggling out of the others arms.

"No."

"Yes." He offers a soft smile. "Yes you are."

And despite his reassurance, Connor can't help but feel guilty, because Evan _hates_ missing class. He doesn't need to be here because Connor is fine on his own, _really_. "Ev, I can feel your anxiety from here."

"S-sorry."

"Go back, I get it. You can leave." _'They all do.'_

"Connor..." Evan's voice is full of concern and it's then when he realizes he's screwed up.

Did he say that last bit out loud?

"Con, really, what is going on?"

He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling his body tense as he flashes back. "Zoe. Fight." It's all Evan needs to fill in the blanks. His words are slightly slurred, and he wonders if he could even understand them.

***

_"You know, I really thought you were getting better Connor."_

_"I fucking am, can't you see that I'm trying?"_

_"It doesn't seem like it."_

The sound of glass shattering.

 _"How... How does he put up with you?"_ Connor hates the fear in her voice.

_"Don't bring him into this."_

_"No, really. How?_

_"..."_

_"He's going to snap one day, having to put up with all your shit. He's gonna leave Connor, because of you. You always fucking do this."_

He can feel the anger drain out of him, along with his last sense of hope that _maybe_ things could change.

But Connor is still what he was six months ago. _A monster._

_"...I know."_

_I know I know, IknowIknowIknowIknow-_

_***_

"Are you ok?"

"I dunno."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"...I dunno." There's a question on his tongue that he really doesn't want to ask but he _needs_ the confirmation. "Are- never mind."

Maybe if he wasn't such a coward he could actually _say it._

"Nonono what is it." Evan perks up from beside Connor, resting a comforting hand on his waist.

He hesitates, drawing in a deep breath. "Are you going to leave me?" His voice is soft, careful. _Fearful._

Because that's just how these things go. You have fun while it lasts, but soon Evan's going to realize what a _fucking freak_ Connor is and he'll move on. He'll move on to someone better, more deserving of him, because God knows Connor hasn't done anything in this life to deserve Evan.

And he'll walk away, leaving only the shell of a broken boy.

Because up to this point what else is Connor to believe when it's all he's known? Nothing good lasts long. Not for him anyways.

"No Connor. I'm not leaving, not anytime soon." Evan smiles sadly, rubbing his hand down his side. "N-not unless you want me to."

He can't say it's enough to lessen the burning pit in his stomach, or to cease the sullen noise nagging at his mind, but it's something, and something is better than nothing. It's enough, for now at least. So Connor just reciprocates his smile and hums in acknowledgment.

"I'm serious Connor, I don't want to lose you."

_'I don't want to lose you either.'_

And everything's ok.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you thought I wasn't capable of writing anything that wasn't Evan angst?
> 
> So this was not at all what I had in mind when I read this prompt and started outlining but everything just felt Wrong, so I completely changed it. I hope it is good enough for y'all though, and I truly am sorry for not getting this up sooner. I've had rehearsal and our shows are coming up next week so I've been working my ass off.
> 
> Blease. Blease, I am begging you. Send me requests, give me content to work with.


	5. Request #4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm trying to propose to you dumbass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dudes I'm exhausted, but here's another request. Also, I'm always looking for requests, so drop a comment telling me what you want and I'll do my best!
> 
> Also, in this one shot, Connor and Evan got together in senior year sometime, and dated through college. They are like, 24/25 years old now. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Anxiety/anxiety attack (small, not descriptive), swearing

Evans hands were not sweaty. They just weren't, because why would they be? that's just- so weird and gross, which is why they are definitely not sweaty, and they definitely won't get sweaty. The point is, Evans hands are _not_ sweaty.

Ok maybe they were a little sweaty.

But this time, there's a reason, and a good one at that (' _and it's not gonna be like that time when you had the perfect chance to introduce yourself to Zoe Murphy at the jazz band concert, but you didn't because you were scared your hands were sweaty- which they weren't that sweaty until you started worrying that they were sweaty, which made them sweaty- so you put them under the hand dryer in the bathroom, but then they were still sweaty they were just very warm now as well'_ ) and oh God his hands were sweaty, fuck.

Anyways...

The point is, Evans anxious. Because today is his and Connors seven year anniversary. Connor made a reservation at some swanky restaurant, which Evans not quite sure how he feels about, because last year they stayed in and made dinner themselves at their shared apartment. So it's different, and Evan can't stop worrying about how underdressed or overdressed he is, and how his hair won't lay flat, and how _sweaty his hands are and-_

"Stop pacing you're making me anxious."

***

Connor was freaking the fuck out, which while not unusual, was not welcomed either. Especially not tonight, because Connor is not going to ruin this, he will not be a coward ( _'and he will absolutely not chicken out last minute like last year when he was going to do the exact same thing, but panicked as soon as he got on one knee and ended up pretending to tie his shoe instead'_ ).

He's going to propose.

Pulling out the little black box, he pockets it, striding into the living room where Evan was stationed. The latter was circling the room, running his hands through his hair.

"Stop pacing you're making me anxious." It's a lie, it's not the pacing making him nervous.

"Yeah, well I'm quite anxious as of now so..." He stopped, turning to face the other.

"Why?" _'Shitshitshit he knows doesn't he?'_

"See, that's the funny thing with anxiety, it makes you... Anxious."

"Are- we don't have to do this. We can stay here if you want if it makes you uncomfortable." Connor walked forward to meet him at the center of the room, grabbing both his hands with his.

"Nonono it's fine, I'm fine." He breathed deeply, closing his eyes. "What time is our reservation?"

He pulled out his phone, checking the time. "In like, half an hour. We should probably go if we want to make it on time."

 

* * *

 

The restaurant, El Dante, is quite possibly the most sumptuous place Evan's been in his life, which seems like it'd be impressive until realizing that the bar wasn't high in the first place.

But damn.

Large windows spanned across the front of the restaurant, white marble framing the sides. The interior was even more impressive. Chatter filled the air, voices echoing off the high ceiling. White tablecloths and champagne flutes were perched along each table for two, and Evan wondered how Connor even managed to get a reservation.

Although, his awe was dissipating, leaving only the familiar tang of anxiety settled in the pit of his stomach. "Con, how- this is- wow," he finished breathlessly.

"Is it ok?"

He played with the cuff of his sleeve, eyes wandering to take in the atmosphere. He could hear piano music playing faintly in the background amongst the many voices.

 _Many_   voices.

He was suddenly aware of how Not Alone they were.  

"It- yeah this place is amazing." And overwhelming.

***

This has to be special.

That's why he's taking him to the fanciest restaurant in town.

He looks over at the wide eyed boy whose face was quickly turning ashy. "Ev, you ok?"

"G-good. All good in- in the hood."

He noted his shaky stature, immediately feeling guilt wash over him. "Fuck your- your anxiety I- _fuck_. We can find somewhere else." _'Stupidstupidstupid.'_

"Con, I-t's fine I was the one that- that said I'd be fine let's just-" He gestured to the restaurant. "Do this." 

And holy _fuck_ this was not going as planned, not at all, but Connor would be damned if he let Evan have a panic attack over this. "No, I have a better idea."

 

* * *

 

 

"McDonald's? Really?"

"Only the best for you." He pulled into the drive through, rolling his window down and peering at Evan with a smirk.

Evan's so lucky.

 

* * *

 

 

They walk through the dimly lit park, hands entwined. Evan's saying something, a smile plastered on his face. He's not listening to the words. How can he when all his energy is being spent trying to  memorize the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, and how his cheeks are dusted with red as he rambles.

Connor's so lucky.

_'Do it. Do it know.'_

He tugs on Evan's hand, halting him. "Actually, hold on a sec, why don't we just... Stop here for a little bit."

"Um- yeah, what- what's the... All good?"

And oh God Connor's hands are shaking and it's too late to back out now. Evan's looking at him with nervous eyes and it's enough to make him want to sink into the ground _'but now that I think about it, Evan would like it much more if I was not a puddle of goo and-'_

"Oh my God you're breaking up with me. That's why you're doing this."

"W-what? No-"

"-No it's fine, you can go ahead I'm not gonna cry and start _breaking things,_ but oh my God who the fuck breaks up with someone on their anniversary that's- who does that?-"

"I'm trying to propose to you dumbass."

***

"I'm trying to propose to you dumbass."

_'Oh.'_

Well that was not expected.

"So you're not breaking up with me?"

"Nope. No..."

"Um, um ok... _Thank you."_ He grabs onto the others shoulders, hesitating before removing his hands.

He visibly swallows, smiling weakly. "Don't mention it," he replies, returning the gesture.

***

 _'Is this his weird was of rejecting me?'_ Connor swallows the lump in his throat, grabbing the others shoulders as he did to him. "Don't mention it."

The two stand awkwardly, Evan's hands worrying his untied tie while Connor blinks back the tears threatening to break through. Suddenly Evan snaps forward, jaw dropping.  _"Oh my God you were proposing."_  

He bites back a defensive snarl. "It- leave it, it's fine." He chuckles dryly, turning heel and speed walking away.

"Wait, Con no that's not what I meant."

"No, it was fucking stupid anyways. Don't- forget it."

"What- what if I don't want to forget it?"

And suddenly he's whirling around to face him, training a fiery glare at the other. " _Fuck off already."_

He flinches and puts his hands out in front of him, and Connor has made a horrible, no good, very bad mistake, and he needs to rewind, backtrack, _stopstopstop. "Shit,_ sorrysorrysorry I'm sorry, um-"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, I'm going to marry your stupid ass so give me that ring."

He smiles warily, taking out the box from his coat pocket. "I never got to properly ask you."

"I already said yes didn't I?"

"Shush, let me have this, I've been wanting to do this for a fucking year."

"A _year?"_

" _Evan."_

"Ok, I'm shushing now."

He smiles, popping open the top. "Should I like, get on one knee or?"

" _Oh my-"_

"I'm kidding!" He laughs, taking a step closer. "Evan Hansen. Will you marry me?"

He bites his lip, cocking his head in thought. "I don't know, let me think."

" _Evan-"_

"Yes. Yes, I will marry you." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this went off the rails several times, and in a completely different direction than originally planned. Although I am proud of that fact that this isn't that angsty because I write an awful lot of angst. 
> 
> Have y'all seen Dan Howell's coming out video? Because it honestly almost made me cry and he says so many true things. I don't even watch his videos, but it was in my recommended and I almost didn't watch it but wow. Best 45 minutes spent.


	6. Request #5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Evan and Connor are in a secret relationship, just because they don’t want people to stare at them all the time, and it gets out that one of them is dating someone, (nobody but Alana, Zoe, and Jared knows anything about it) and it becomes a whole thing with everyone trying to figure out who the lucky person is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo, exam week is over which means school is out. I've been meaning to update but I just couldn't find time in between studying.
> 
> So I really enjoyed writing this because I too, love secret relationships. Because I love this prompt so much, it's probably going to be a bit longer then the others, so don't beat me with a stick when you find this is double the size as my usual. 
> 
> Trigger warnings: Anxiety/anxiety attacks, unhealthy eating habits, suicidal intentions
> 
> Was nobody gonna tell me that Ben Platts eyes are brown or were you just gonna let me read that on google myself? I though his eyes were BLUE this whole damn time.

It started in August.

 

* * *

 

The orchard was quite. Mostly because it was abandoned, and he could _technically_ be fined for trespassing- or thrown in jail- and Evan _really_ didn't think this through. It's not like it'll matter in a moment anyways. Maybe Ellison would be nice.

"Hansen?"

Evan froze, anxiety spiking.

_'Connor?'_

"Um, yeah, why- what are you doing here?"

...Apparently he said that out loud.

Connor was perched on a low hanging branch, some sort of journal in hand as his narrowed eyes focused in on the other. "Are you like, stalking me or something?"

"Oh my g- no of- of course not, sorry I was just- I come here sometimes...It's, um. Nobody usually comes here so..."

He nodded slowly, running a hand through his hair and shifting his gaze to the ground. He'd grown his hair out, Evan noticed. It looked nice. 

"My family, we used to come here all the time when I was younger," he said, interrupting the silence. "Back when life wasn't complete fucking shit. Not that you asked, but that's why I'm here," he ended bitterly.

Evan winced, an immediate apology on his tongue. "Sorry."

"S'not your fault my parents marriage is falling apart."

He snorted, his face burning red soon after. "I did _not_ mean to laugh at that, oh my God I'm so sorry-"

He smirked, hopping down from the branch to stand in front of Evan. " _Chill_ Hansen. I'm not gonna like, throw stones at you for laughing at my joke." His half smile dropped as he met the boys eyes. "Why are you really here?"

"W-what?"

"Maybe I'm... Maybe I'm projecting but you don't look so hot right now."

***

The one person he didn't expect to pop up at the old apple orchard was Evan fucking Hansen. The quite and awkwardly cute Evan Hansen. The same Evan Hansen that Connor had been crushing on for _'oh I don't know, **two years.'**_

"Connor?" He sounded just as surprised as him.

"Um, yeah, why- what are you doing here?" He comes here a lot. Almost every day since school's gotten out and he's never _once_ seen him here. "Are you like, stalking me or something?"

The other boys eyes widened, and a red blush spread across his cheeks. _'Cute.'_ "Oh my g- no of- of course not, sorry I was just- I come here sometimes...It's, um. Nobody usually comes here so..."

_'Now would be a good time to change the subject, after you almost sent him into cardiac arrest.'_

"My family used to come here when I was younger. Back when life wasn't complete fucking shit." He grimaced, before adding, "Not that you asked, but that's why I'm here."

He saw the other make a similar expression. "Sorry."

He shrugged. "S'not your fault my parents marriage is falling apart." Evan snorted loudly, immediately slapping his hand over his mouth, eyes widening as his cheeks burst red again.

"I did _not_ mean to laugh at that, oh my God I'm so sorry-"

" _Chill_ Hansen," he interrupted. "I'm not gonna like, throw stones at you for laughing at my joke." Connor was right in front of him now, and he had _changed_ over the summer.

He'd lost most of the chubbiness in his cheeks, and overall looked much smaller than he had in the previous months.

Something told him there was nothing healthy about the weight loss.  

The big indicator was his eyes.

Connor loved his eyes.

They were brown and bright with anxiety, but bright nonetheless, and Connor couldn't help but be entranced whenever he spotted him moving his arms excitedly when he retold something to Jared at lunch. His eyes weren't anxious then. They were shiny, and wide and _perfect._

Not anymore.

Now, they were dull and glassy, bags shadowing his under eye as he carefully maneuvered his gaze away from his.

Something is wrong.

"Why are you really here?"

"W-what?"

He rolled his shoulders uncomfortably. "Maybe I'm... Maybe I'm projecting but you don't look so hot right now."

***

What is he supposed to say to that?

 _'Oh, no don't worry about me. I just stopped by the orchard so I could kill myself.'_ He exhales, wincing as his breath comes out choppy.

"Fuck, um sorry I- don't cry _fuck."_

His eyes widen as he fervently dabs at the tears gathering in his eyes. "Um, um I'm- sorry just..."

"No, don't be. I almost made you cry, _I'm_ sorry." Evan nods at that, replying with a slurred "s'fine."

Connor, furrows his brow, opening his journal- which upon closer inspection is actually a sketchbook- and scribbles something upon a page before ripping the corner off to hand to Evan. "It's my Email. Larry took my phone away so... You can Email me instead. You know, in case you want someone to bitch to."

 _'He's just pitying you.'_ Although the prospect of Connor Murphy pitying someone doesn't seem probable.

"You don't... Have to. It's dumb, never mind."

He must have been idle for too long.

"No- wait sorry. I'd- I'd like that. T-thank you." He shyly accepts the paper, offering a small smile.

As he turns around to walk back home he swears he sees a returning smile from the corner of his eye.

 

* * *

 

 It had been nine months since then.

Nine months of good days, and bad days, and the best days of their lives. It was good, and bad (but mostly good), and it was theirs.

Only theirs.

Well, save for Jared, Zoe, and Alana. You try to keep a secret from any of them, see how far you get.

 

* * *

 

"Connor?"

"Yeah?"

He took a shaky breath. "Can we- is it ok if... I want this to be our thing."

Connor frowned, shifting slightly from his position in Evan's lap. "What do you mean?"

"Can we... Not tell people? About us?" He flinched. "Not- I know what you're thinking."

"And what's that Evan?"

"I'm not ashamed of you. I just- I haven't even came out to my mom yet, and people will look and they might judge _us_ and neither of us really need that right now and-" He cut himself off, rubbing his eyes. "I don't want everyone to know. Not yet. Can this be for only us for now?"

"Yeah." He smiled softly. "Of course."

 

* * *

 

"Dude, you are so gay."

Evan jumped, clutching his phone to his chest. "Jared, did- were you reading my texts?"

"Yes."

He blinked, taken aback. _"J-Jared."_ The boy in question cackled, snatching the phone from his hand.

"Aw how sweet."

"Jared give that back _please."_   He made a grab for the phone, missing as he pulled his hand away.

He opened his mouth, beginning to read the texts in a cheesy, high pitch voice. "Happy nine months _baby,_ I wuv yooouu." He drew out the last word tauntingly.

"J-ared." His voice cracked as he grew more desperate. "Please stop, _someone is going to hear you."_

"Oh my god, I'm just having fun you don't need to hyperventilate."

"I'm not hyperventilating-"

"Are you sure? You're having considerable trouble breathing-"

" _I'm not hyperventilating."_ His voice raised an octave, and several people turned to look at the two, causing Evan to blush and duck his head. Jared fell silent, sheepishly handing the phone back to Evan who pulled it to his chest.

"So nine months. Getting pretty serious."

"Yeah, we are serious Jared. We've been over this."

"...I still can't believe you're dating-"

_"Shut up Jared."_

"Ok, ok, jeez."

"Thank you."

"...So have you gotten to third base yet or-"

" _Jared."_

 

* * *

 

Jared speaks louder than he thinks he does.

Evan isn't as invisible as he thinks he is.

And high schoolers love gossip.

 

* * *

 

 

"He has a girlfriend?"

...

"Since when?"

...

"I'm guessing Zoe Murphy. They seem way to friendly."

"Maybe they are friendly because they're _friends."_

...

"Fuck really? I was gonna ask him out this weekend."

...

"Who the fuck is Evan Hansen?"

"The quiet kid that did like, three presentations on trees last year."

...

"How did he get a girlfriend? I asked him what the time was and he almost had a panic attack or some weird shit."

...

"I thought he was gay."

...

"He _is_ sort of cute. In a I'd-take-you-home-to-meet-my-mother type of way." 

...

"Who?"

"I don't know. I just heard weird glasses kid talking to him about it"

...

"It's probably that Alana chick. I see them talk sometimes."

"Alana talks to everyone dumbass."

 

* * *

 

 

 "Evan." Alana sprinted across the cafeteria to meet him at his empty table. "I came as soon as I heard. Are you ok?"

"Alana you- heard what?"

She deflated, looking at him through concerned eyes. "So you haven't heard the rumors."

Evan tensed, dropping his sandwich. "Rumors?"

"About you and-" she looked pointedly at a boy in black who sat alone on the floor, earbuds on as he read quietly. "Word got out."

_"What?"_

"But they don't know who it is. They only know you are dating someone."

Great.

***

Heavy breath. Evan took a deep breath in, sending him into a coughing fit as he tried to exhale.

Heavy heart. This is bad. Very bad. What would Connor say? would he be mad? _'Oh please God don't make him be mad.'_

Heavy limbs. He curled in closer to himself, head dropping to rest atop his knees after the effort of holding his head up became too much.

Connor: ev i heard what happened

Connor: are you ok?

Connor: where are you?

Evan: Art room. Door is locked.

The art teacher, Ms. Smith, had been kind enough to give him a spare key to the unoccupied room for when he needed to calm down. The school bathrooms were never a quiet place for a breakdown.

Connor: im at the door can you unlock it for me?

He breathed out shakily, reaching up to turn the lock from his spot on the floor near the door. Connor quickly rushed in, closing and locking the door behind him before kneeling down. "Hey baby, I'm here. Do you remember your breathing exercises?" He nodded. "Good, can you do them with me?" Another nod. Connor grabbed him hand and placed it over his chest. "Breath in and out when I do ok?"

***

"Kleinman is _dead."_

"Connor, no he didn't- he wasn't trying to start anything." Evan frantically waved his arms, reaching out to grasp the others hoodie.

"Ev, I just had to calm you down from a panic attack. Your first one in months."

"I know."

"He caused it."

"I know Connor. It's over. Please just forget it."

"I can't really forget it-"

"Please."

"...Ok."

 

* * *

 

 "Is it true that you're dating Alana Beck?"

"W-what?"

"My friends were asking. It kinda makes sense, but-"

"IhavetogoI'mverysorrybye."

 

* * *

 

"Evan, dude why is everyone asking me if you're dating one of the girls?"

He clenched his teeth, closing his locker swiftly. "Because of what you said this morning."

"What?"

"You talk louder than you think Jared. The whole hallway heard our conversation. I've had more people talk to me today then I've had my entire life," he whisper yelled.

"Woah, ok what did you say?"

"Nothing. I just.. Ran away." He laughed. "Do you think this is funny Jared?"  

"It kinda is."

"No. It's not. Because now I'm expected to share my relationship with the entire school."

"Then do it. It's not a big deal. Your boyfriend will protect you."

"F-fuck off Jared."

 

* * *

 

"I don't know what to do." Evan had managed to get through the last couple blocks without much harassment, and now they were on their way to his house.

"Nobody's asking you to do anything."

"I feel like I should do something."

***

"Evan, I'm home." A door slammed, and Heidi's voice could be recognized from upstairs.

"I thought you said she wouldn't be home for another couple hours," Connor whispered, panic creeping into his voice.

"Apparently she got off early, just um, act normal."

Heidi walked in on the two, one sitting on the floor awkwardly while the other sat sideways in an office chair. "Evan. Who is this?" Her eyes widened as she inspected Connor who picked at his nail polish nervously.

"Mom, this is um- my- Connor. He's my um-"

"Friend?" Connor offered.

"Boyfriend." Evan scrunched up his eyes to avoid their reactions.

She blinked. "Oh, I didn't know... I didn't know you had a boyfriend Evan."

"Yeah, that's- that was kinda the point." He laughed nervously, opening his eyes to meet Heidi's baffled gaze.

"Well aren't you going to introduce me?" She smiled, turning to Connor. "I'm Heidi, Evan's mom, but I think you know that."

"Connor Murphy."

 

* * *

 

 

"I think I want to come out."

"Seriously?"

"I think I'm ready."

"Are you sure? You just took a pretty big step in telling your mom-"

"Please, lets just do this before I overthink it."

***

The next day Connor and Evan walked hand in hand into school.

If Evan saw Connor flipping the bird to anyone who looked at them funny, he didn't say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our Musical Theatre performance was a smash by the way. Our drama department was saying it was the best one out of the 25 years the schools been doing it.
> 
> Blease. Blease I am begging you. Give me content to work with.


	7. Request #6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Evan cooking together, maybe rainbow cake and Connor just calls it gay cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like showing your pride with a rainbow cake.
> 
> God, this thing is on crack. It's a bit shorter but it's my gift to you, so take it and pretend you're happy. Also, this is very dialogue heavy, so if you don't like that... Perfectly valid reasoning, go off.
> 
> Trigger warnings: Swearing, implied homophobia, past drug use

"Move Hansen." Connor shoved past Evan who was standing in the doorway, staring confusedly at the large bag he was holding.

"What is that?"

"Ingredients." He hefted the bag onto the counter, pulling out boxes and bags one by one.

That really clears things up.

"For?"

"A cake." He turned to the blond, staring at him pointed as if to say ' _obviously.'_ Evan shut up after that, simply walking to meet him at the kitchen counter. "It's for pride month. I'm gonna make a rainbow cake and eat it in front of Larry to piss him off."

He nodded, beginning to help unload. "Ah, I see... You couldn't have done all this at your house?"

"Parents are home."

He smiled softly at the fact that he'd deemed Evan reliable for _desperate times of need like this._

"Well we don't have much baking supplies, but we can try and work with what we have-" Connor silenced him, revealing another bag full of pans and piping bags. "Never mind, I see you've got it covered."

Once unloaded, Connor immediately began measuring out ingredients and pouring them into bowls.

"Wait, don't you need a recipe?"

He chuckled, looking over his shoulder. "I think I know what I'm doing." He shifted his attention back to the mixture as he continued. "I used to get really fucking hungry when I was high so I taught myself how to cook."

"Used to?"

"I'm um, I'm clean now so... Yeah used to."

Evan smile brightly. "That's amazing Connor, I'm proud of you." He pretended not to see the blush blooming across the others face as he mumbled out a meek thanks.

***

"So a gay cake."

"Yep."

"Does that mean- are you, like-"

"Yes. I'm gay," he stated. "Is that... Is that an issue or-"

 _"No."_ He flinched at the intensity of his own voice. "No. Nope, not a problem. Not a problem at all." He paused before adding, "I'm actually bi, so. There's that."

_'Good to know.'_

***

"Hey, is there anything I can do to help?" Evan was currently standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, peering over Connor's shoulder.

He gave him the side eye. "Hansen, I've seen you burn water."

"How was I supposed to know that it would boil over."

He laughed at the pout on the others face. "Fine. But only because you look like you're going to cry."

He squawked. "I wasn't- I'm not gonna _cry_." 

***

"Fucking _fuck_ Hansen." Connor stared down at his body, gaping at the flour that coated his clothing.

 _"Oh my God I'm so sorry I did not mean to knock that, my elbow just sorta hit it and it all just fell and I am sososososo sorr-"_ His rambling stopped abruptly as a cloud of white smacked him in the face. He coughed, wiping it away from his eyes.

"Oh, this means _war."_

 

* * *

 

After a long day of work, Heidi was certainly _not_ expecting to come home to two boys wrestling amongst a kitchen coated with flour.

 _"Boys."_ Both of them stopped, breaking apart to face her. "Would you mind explaining what happened?"

"We were baking a-"

"He wanted to help ba-"

"And then _flour_ -"

" _All over-"_

"And then we both-"

 _"Boys."_ She took a deep breath. "It's fine. Just make sure it's cleaned up."

 

* * *

 

"Oh my god."

Connor placed the hot pan on the top of the stove, staring at the multi-coloured cake. "She's beautiful." 

"And you couldn't have done it without me."

He totally deserved the smack on the side of the head he received.

***

Icing the thing was a whole different story.

"I think we should do rainbow colours. It's a rainbow cake, It should have rainbow icing."

"Excuse me, who did all the work? I think I should decide what colour to ice it."

He huffed, giving in. _"Fine._ What colour do you want to ice it."

"Black."

"Connor _no."_

***

Connor won in the end obviously.

But _only_ because he has some damn good puppy eyes.

It's fine in the end, because Evan melts when Connor smiles fondly at his black ~~monstrosity~~ creation as he touches up the icing.

It's worth it to see him smile.

 

* * *

 

"You know, I'm starting to believe that you really are an emo."

"I am _not_ an emo."

"Please. Look at you with the all black clothing, and eye liner, and you're My Chemical Romance tee-shirts-"

_"Ok, ok, I get it, I'm emo."_

"... And your cakes with black icing-"

"Shut up before I pelt you with more flour."

"Wait no, I'm sorry."

 

* * *

 

 "Sorry, you have a bit of icing-" Connor pointed at his own face, miming the area to Evan.

"Here?'

"No, over a bit."

"Here?"

"Other way."

"Where-"

"Oh my God just let me do it." He reached up, swiping at the corner of his mouth with his thumb. He blinked, red tinging his cheeks. "Sorry, I hope that wasn't-"

"It's... Fine."

_'Fuck.'_

 

* * *

 

Connor lifted the completed cake presenting it to Evan. "Ta da."

He giggled. "It looks so good."

"Told you. Black icing is the way to go."

_"Why."_

"Cause you're not expecting a gay cake when you cut into it, then bam. Rainbow."

"You're a genius."

"I know."

 

* * *

 

Evan may or may not have held the door open for Connor on the way out.

Connor may or may not have noticed the blush coating his cheeks as he walked out the door.

He also may or may not have kissed Evan full on the lips before sauntering to his car and pulling out of the driveway.

He may or may not have gotten home only to realize he forgot the fucking cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blease. Blease I am begging you, give me content to work with.


	8. Request #7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you think you could do a fic where Connor confronts Evan with the whole "did you fall, or did you let go?" Question? Preferably a fic where they're recent friends or if you want to have them become friends within the fic that's cool too. Also an unnecessary detail but if you happen to hate Jared as much as I do I wouldn't complain about some Jared bashing but definitely not required.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyheyhey it's been a while my dudes. I've been purposefully ignoring this because I am Very Bad at committing to one thing so I sorta strayed away and did some other one shots. But I'm back, and I'm gonna actually try and get out some more of these babies soon.
> 
> And? This prompt is amazing, I loveloveloved writing it. Mostly because I got to do some Jared bashing, which if you haven't realized, is not my favorite character. (Yes, he is a 3D character, but he's also a huge dick and his actions should not be excused just because he is insecure.)
> 
> Trigger Warnings: anxiety attacks, talks of past suicide attempt

Evan was sick and tired of the acorn thing.

Because seriously, how many times can a person retell the same joke?

Eleven. Eleven times apparently. He did the math. On average, Jared brings up the tree thing  _eleven times a day,_ and Evan is done.

He thinks he does it because he sees how it affects him. How his skin crawls, his mouth goes dry, and how quickly he rushes to shut him up.  Yeah, that's it. He sees that sickening, sadistic smirk he gets.

***

"Hey acorn."

"Please don't call me that."

***

"Careful there, don't want you breaking another limb tree boy."

"Don't- stop it."

***

 _"Oh my God_ , that was so pathetic. _How_ did you  _just_ break your arm when you fell?"

"Right."

***

"Acorn. Wh-"

_"Shut up Jared."_

_"..."_

"Oh g- I am so sorry, I'll just-"

And he was gone.

 

* * *

 

The bell rang, and he is _latelatelate,_ but that's not really his top priority right now. That would be finding a place to hyperventilate in peace, because apparently, there is no such thing as privacy in this damn school.

_'Hidehidehidehidehide-'_

"Whoa there."

And maybe Jared was right about one thing. Evan is really fucking clumsy, because now he's on the ground, entangled in limbs that are _definitely_ not his own, surrounded by textbooks that _do not_ belong to him, and staring at a very familiar face.

"Hansen, what's wrong?" Connor Murphy stared back at him, concern displayed across his features.

And Evan doesn't answer. He doesn't think he really can because at the moment, tight ropes are  _curling curling curling,_ tighter and tighter around his chest and effectively breaking his ribs and oh God he can't breathe. _'Breathe Evan, regular people know how to breathe.'_

"Nevermind um, can you stand?"

He'd rather not test that for himself, his body seems much too heavy to be standing.

"That's- that's ok, I'll help you." And he does. Connor lifts Evan up by his armpits, wrapping an arm around his waist to hold him steady as he fights for balance.

***

It takes him a while to notice they are no longer in the hallway, which he supposes is a good thing. He vaguely recognizes that he's in the art room because his vision is swimming, and his head hurts, and he really has no fucking clue how he got from point A to point B.

"Hey, I got you some water."

Right. Connor.

"I don't- um..." He doesn't finish his thought. To be honest, he hadn't really thought the sentence through enough to form a question or statement.  

Instead, Connor takes the reigns. "You disassociated pretty fucking hard back there." He set the water bottle in Evan's lap, looking to it pointedly until he unscrews the cap and takes a sip. "Mind telling me what happened?"

Evan does mind actually. When he says it out loud it just sounds _stupid_ but...

It's not stupid. At least not to Evan.

"Well... Jared he. Said something- a joke- that I didn't really um, like? So. It's- he always does that though, so I'm not sure why I just..."

"What did he say?" And it must have shown on Evan's face because he immediately backtracked. "I mean, if you want to. You don't- we haven't been friends for very long so I'm not gonna force you to tell me or-"

"Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"Rambling is my thing."

That earned a chuckle, and wow it felt good to hear him laugh. Connor should laugh more. And smile more. It looks good on him, although Evan thinks that pretty much anything could look good on him.

"But um, I can't really- I can't really remember? So." And now Connor is frowning, and Evan really wants to take it back, really wants for that small little half smile to come back because that was so much better than this.

"What do you mean you don't remember, you just had a panic attack over it."

He shrugged, anxiously picking at the hem of his shirt. "Um... It's like you said. I disassociated, so I guess I just don't... Remember." He's lying, and Connor can tell. Evan can tell that Connor can tell. "Just drop it ok?"

The brunets brow furrows deeper, and he knows he's not gonna drop it. "No, I'm not- listen, whatever that jackass said to you-"

_"He called me an acorn."_

A confused pause.

"Just- it's stupid he's been... He's been bothering me about the tree th- how I fell. Out of a tree. See, it's not a big deal and you should just drop it because he's just- he's just being Jared, and I overreacted so really it's um... It's fine."

Evan can see the gears turning in the others head. "No, that's not stupid don't..." He pauses before continuing. "Evan?" His voice comes out shaky and when he turns to meet his gaze he finds him frowning. "How did you break your arm?"

No answer.

"How did you break your arm Evan?" And now any trace of hesitancy is gone, replaced with frantic urgency.

"I fell."

"Really? Is that what happened?" He's looking at him, staring at him. He can feels his eyes on him. Wide, concerned eyes with the fleck of blue in the corner.

And for the first time Evan's not so sure.

***

_'I fell.'_

_'I was in the tree.'_

_'I lost my grip.'_

_'I fell.'_

A new voice pushes through.

_'No.'_

_'Wrong.'_

_'Stop lying to yourself.'_

_'You didn't fall Evan.'_

_'You let go.'_

_***_

"I let go," He repeated in a whisper. Barely a whisper, but Connor heard it.

His face crumpled. Evan's not quite sure why, because he's certain Connor had already figured it out.

"I let go."

"Ok." He sounds close to crying, his voice upturning at the end.

 _"Nonono_ Connor you don't- _I let go,_ I- I- let go of the fucking branch and I just- _I let go-"_ and suddenly arms are around him, and it seems to be exactly what Evan needs because he melts.

A wet spot is forming on his shoulder and he registers that Connor must be crying. He is too, he thinks.

And maybe that's just what he needs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So scratch what I said in the beginning notes I am spontaneously starting a multi chapter fic! I'm going to be focusing a lot of my time and energy to pre-write chapters so when it does come out, y'all aren't waiting for three months for a chapter. So this will be put on hold for a bit. You can still send in requests though, I'm sure I'll catch up.


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